30th August 2006

We have reached Slovenia! And not only that, we are already in the capital, Ljublubljublana.

Leaving Italy was a little less dramatic than our high altitude arrival, with less of the heroic summiting of mountain peaks as dawn broke, and more clambering through a hedgerow into someones garden in the drizzle. Since then we have had the most fantastic two days pottering through gorgeous countryside like that seen in the photos below, taken the morning after a thunderstorm that deposited hailstones the size of watermelons on our now rather beleagered tents.



We arrived in the capital yesterday and spent the night with the British deputy ambassador and his wife, Mr and Mrs Setterfield, who treated us royally and fed us on mighty amounts of shepherds pie and rhubarb (No Ferrero Rocher though, which is always a pity) Today we decamped to the Celica Hostel, which youd be hard pressed to know was once a military prison. Tonight we might partake in a half of ale, or two, to re-celebrate some milestone or other, and then its off tomorrow for the short 150km dash to Zagreb.

Another highly exciting milestone is my purchase today of a shiny new pair of trainers! The old ones eventually died a glorious death on the final stretch into town yesterday. They had, since Trafalgar Square, consumed 1 tube of superglue, 2 pairs of laces, 3 sets of insoles, 4 maids-a-milking and 5 countries. They are currently in an envelope winging their way back to my mother (almost under their own steam) in Shropshire, where they will look lovely on the mantelpiece.

Not much news to report apart from the above. I have no idea, either, why I am now writing in blue and underlined, but these Slovenian computers are a curious breed. Many thanks again to everyone who has sponsored us. Keep telling the world about our good cause (mind you, after the article in the Windsor Times this week, I'd say most people probably know) and we-ll be back in touch again as soon as something exciting happens.

Regards from the Balkans,

Paddy and Andy

24th August 2006

Hello to you all. This will hopefully be our last blog from Italy (where the appalingly miserable excuses for internet cafes are starting to really test our patience, and the bronze-age computers crash even more often than their cars.)

We are currently in the hot sweaty town of Latisana some 85km from the Slovenian border. More importatly than that two days ago we reached the biggest landmark of our expedition so far, the Adriatic Sea! Our 40km long day ended on the British and German lobster-people filled beaches at Lido di Jesolo. However all attention was diverted from the bikini clad woman (and, most unpleasantly, men in far less...) to the bright blue sea that stretched across the horizon before us. Armed with a cold beer we collapsed into the cool refreshing water. This was not only our first and only sea but also sybolised the half way point between London and Asia. It also marks our transition from Western to Eastern Europe and we are very much looking forward to leaving Italy and exploring the much less touristy central Balkans. Having both obviously mastered Italian we are also looking for the challenge of a new lauguage.

Other than that there is little to report that can't be guessed at from our last blog. We are still very much living rough, but with the added entertainment of frequent starvation rations. Each morning on arrival in or breakfast-town it is a guessing game as to whether we will eat that day or whether the Local holiday of the Feast of the Joyous Second Ascension of The Venerable and Munificent St Lazario will prevent us from feeding while the locals barricade themselves inside to feast on wine, wafers and song. Without intervention from the odd heathen local, weighed down with homegrown fruit and veg for us, we could well have starved several times over by now. Let's hope the Slovenians are a less pious bunch.

The roads and traffic have been similarly frustrating. The stifling heat of the afternoon forces us to walk from dawn until lunch, when the traffic is both interminable and chaotic, and then from late afternoon to sundown, when the returning comuters, overjoyed with finishing their day's work, celebrate by trying to run us down. All the more reason to flee to Slovenia, where the charging ferraris will be replaced by chuntering Yugos.


Otherwise, the walking has been pleasant, though hot. We had one small break in the weather, and got caught in the mother of all storms. We walked through it, intent on reaching a lake which we had been reliably informed was quite stunning, and where we intended on swimming our troubles away. After the 50km walk we were disappopinted by the swamp which confronted us at our destination. Not to be disheartened, we cheered ourselvers by spending that night in a graveyard. It was perhaps here where Andy managed to pick up an eye infection (hayfever from all those flowers, again?). The offending eye turned all sorts of funny hues and I was miserable to be told that perhaps a retreat to a motel might be neccasary. I spent a dreadfull 24 hours watching Sattelite TV in the reluctant comfort of the room, eating hot meals and drinking Guinness at unconventional hours. We were both overjoyed to be back on the highways and byeways the next day, among the roadkill and mosquitoes. (Many thanks due at this point to the charming duo of Sylvia and Alice, who gave us freebie after freebie from the hotel bar and kitchens)

AND NOW, MOST IMPORTANTLY, NEWS OF THIS YEAR'S MOST TALKED ABOUT 'EVENT'!
We have made a highly conjectural prediction of an Istanbulian bridge-crossing date of a day either side of the 31st of October. We have several recruits already, and are looking for more. Istanbul is an incredibly cool city, and we will be there having a bit of a shindig. Have a think about joining us. It's-all-made-easy-by-Easyjet, flights coming in at about a hundred quid (return) and operating most days of the week. You know you want to.

Other than that all that remains is for us to say a big thankyou to everyone who has sent encouraging text messages and emails, but most of all everyone who has donated their hard earned etc to the Red Cross in the name of our esteemed cause. We had a thought this morning- Make it your project, if you read this, to forward the blog address on to 5 people. It's better than recieving spam about free Novocaine, and it will also bring you good luck for 7 years.

Thanks again to one and all,

Kind Regards,

Paddy and Andy

"Sitting in a bus station, got no ticket for my destination..."

11th August 2006

Here is, in response to public demand, our long awaited blog update, telexed in at our Chiswick headquarters from the rambling frontline (No mans land?).

The last you heard we were in Aosta, which was a fantastic town. We made friends with generous Scottish bar staff at the Old English Distillery, where the free drinks flowed like water - fizzy hops flavoured water. We drank sponsorable quantities, and our hangovers accompanied us along the road for some days.

With the Alps far behind us we set off across the monotonous North Italian plain. The only crop found here is rice, and the quagmires in which it is grown provide meagre opportunities for rough camping, but paradise on earth for mosquitoes. Word quickly spread that Paddy’s legs were in the neighbourhood, and for a week or two, clouds of these parasitic groupies chased us from swamp to swamp. It was Hitchcock in miniature, Paddy collecting forty two confirmed bites in twenty four hours, with a similar number of kills. Andy, thinking he got off lightly with his paltry three bites was yet to discover his own nemesis … the crayfish.

Mosquito Heaven

Just as mother nature was about to crush our spirits completely, we were rescued by a night in a shining Alfa. Mark Struthers, having sold himself to the Devil, or at least the Devils accountant, flew out to Milan for one last taste of the good life. Armed with fly rods we headed north for a few days fishing in the Italian Alps, or so we thought.

To cut a long and boring story short, a squat Italian bureaucrat refused to give us a permit. Desperate times called for a desperate road trip, and the roll of a dice told us to go to Austria. After an epic 11 hour drive, and a few phone calls to the Austrian aristocracy, we found ourselves installed in a cosy woodcutters cottage, sipping whiskey in front of a log fire. Our host, Fritz Hardegg, provided us with some fantastic trout fishing, schnapps fuelled evening entertainment with his charming family and friends and a tour of his impressive and vast estate.

Smug .....

Alas the good life had to come to an end. Mark drove us back to our starting point, before returning back to London. We loaded up our packs and hit the road once more. Mark, you are an absolute legend for organising such an amazing break, and for fuelling us with so much good food and booze.

For the last four weeks we have been continuously sleeping rough. We set off this morning between five and six, in a vain effort to beat the heat. The roads in these parts are monotonously straight, which is great for covering distance, but also allow the Italian drivers to reach perilous speeds, often forcing us in to ditches and hedgerows. We brake at about twelve to sit out the heat, until around five o’clock, afterwards we crack on for another hour or two, in search of an inconspicuous stop where we can cook and rest our weary legs. Washing, however, is a different matter. We have had just two showers in the last five weeks on the road, and we are reliant on rivers and streams to wash. Our luck was to change, as yesterday we met Sammy Maccagnola, who was insisted on looking after us for the afternoon. Before we knew it, we were squeaky clean, and sitting round the kitchen table in borrowed clothes, eating punnits of ice-cream with his mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, cousin and baby niece. The generosity then extended to an enormous and delicious supper, a tour of a nearby town, plentiful glasses of various home made alcoholic concoctions, and a roof over our heads for the night.

We reluctantly said our farewells this morning after a hearty breakfast, and set off to the town from which the update comes. Our lunch break is now over, and it is time for us to move on. Somewhere out there, there is a hedgerow with our name on it.

Please keep spreading the rambling word - there’s lots of money still to raise.

Loads of love Andy and Paddy.

Just another Whisky sunset

10th August 2006

Good afternoon all. Just a very quick update, as we've had trouble finding intertnet access in italy. However, we've just been taken in by a lovely Italian family who, after hosing us down and scrubbing our clothes, and feeding us copious amounts of ice-cream, have allowed us to use their internet.
We'll do our best to give a proper update in a few days time, but until then suffice to say we are alive and well, and chugging along nicely. We've reached the environs of Verona, and are excitedly looking at lots of maps of Slovenia and beyond. We're both in good health, the weather, though hot, is just about bearable, and all is well. We hope you are too.

A proper update and lots of photos to follow. Love to one and all from the two of us.

Paddy and Andy.

23rd July 2006

Boun Giorno! We have, 6 days after arriving in Switzerland, reached Italy! We crossed the border at 9,250 ft at sunrise yesterday morning, and celebrated with the traditional triumphant breakfast of curried noodles.

It had been a long 3 days from Martigny, up and down cliffside paths in the sweltering heat, ending each day a little higher than where we'd finished the previous night. This cumibnated with yesterday's dawn climb up what we hoped would be a gentle ski-slope, but transpired to be a 3,000ft rubble-strewn scree-slope which steepened to such a vertical gradient that it almost defeated us. On eventually reaching the top we found two abandoned deckchairs into which we slumped, exhausted, surrounded by breathtaking views of the snowcapped peaks of France to the west, Switzerland to the north, and Italy to the south.



From this mountain-top border-crossing it has been a two day descent to the suprisingly pretty town of Aosta. From here we hope to reach Milan in the next two weeks. We will keep you posted.

Regards,

Andy and Paddy

19th July 2006

Welcome to our blog. Its the same as our Justgiving site, but it allows us to post photos (many thanks to Mr and Mrs Ward for the camera!) so check here for updates from now on, but keep donating at the original site (www.justgiving.com/paddymorris).


The last you will have heard was that I was lost in Geneva, a horrid town which seemed to go on and on for ever. A horrendous thunderstorm accompanied me all the way to St. Jeroire, where I celebrated the end of a 60km day by sleeping rough in a quarry without any supper. Leaving at 5 the next morning I raced to Morzine where I planned to wait for Andy. I spent a lovely week crashing at Liz's flat. Vicks and James and Ollie and Loucho and Becs and everyone and anyone seemed to be there. Lots of barbecues (big shout out to Anthony for letting me come to his birthday party and giving me some trousers. I wear them with pride) , lots of nights out, days spent drinking coffee in the sun, walks (urgh) to the slate mines, etc etc.


After a week Andy, with leg almost fully recovered, arrived. Although he was eager to crack on right away I, being used to life at these dizzy altitudes, insisted on a harsh 48 hour acclimatisation regime. We practised fluid intake untill dawn, at which point altitude sickness got the better of us and we passed out. After our recovery we bravely shook off our headaches and made for Switzerland.


We set of bright and early at about 11 o'clock. The sun shone, and coffee oozed through our pores like grease from a kebab.


We headed up a steep mountain track to the Col de Coux and the Franco-Swiss border. As Andy's fitness was still clearly suffering from life in Blighty, I reached the top first. Seeing Andy "resting" a km or so below me I dashed down into Switzerland to gather snowballs from a little snow hollow, for a refreshing ambush that we could both enjoy. However, reaching the top again my snowballs had congealed to a hefty boulder of ice. For fear of breaking his other leg I reluctantly handed it over as an ice-pack. As we lunched on super-noodles, the weather closed in, and the heavens opened up. We were forced to wait out a couple of hours before making the descent into Switzerland, where we pitched our tents on the banks of an alpine stream flowing fresh from a glacier 100m above us. As you can see from the following photos, nothing was more pleasurable and relaxing than the soothing baths we enjoyed under the waterfall next to our tents.
















Though intending to start early, a surfeit of porridge laced with wild strawberries knocked us both out. After 2 hours sleep we rose again at 10, to set of on what we could tell from the map was going to be a very sketchy climb. Arriving at the botom of a near-vertical climb we broke off for a quick bite. I went off in search of bread from a nearby refuge leaving Andy to cut the saucisson. On my return, I found Andy had acquired, from Lord knows where, a donkey. His mother had apparently advised him that should his bag become too heavy a donkey might be an effective solution.

Andy writes: Paddy seemed suprised that I'd found a donkey, and expressed concern that we might have to split our food three ways. Alas, the path steepened to a near-vertical ascent. Only a thin chain, delicately affixed to the rock face, provided assistance from the "you fall - you die" climb, and it was with great reluctance that I left Trigger behind. Paddy's rationing concerns were assuaged.

After a 45 minute, 500 metre climb, we emerged at the bottom of an enormous glacial trough, surrounded on all sides by snow-covered mountain peaks. We were also very suprised to find ourselves in the midst of eine kleine gruppen of stark naked Germans. Such a sight is not normally suprising, of course, but 6,000 ft up a glacier, with no piles of discarded clothing in evidence, it made us wonder if perhaps they weren't Germans at all, but defrosted Neanderthals, celebrating global warming with a pool party. Not seeking an invite we slunk off through the boulders for a 3 hour climb through the snow to the top of the arrete above us.


The descent was as hairy as the Germans. Forbidden by our own rules to use our rucksacks as tobboggans we shinned down cliff-faces (see photo below), slipped over snow-fields, dodged marmottes and chamoises, traversed gorges and waded through mountain streams for a couple of hours to Salanfe Lake where we pitched our tents. We ate a hearty supper of couscous (apparently for 9 people), looking up at the afternoon's descent.

The next day was an uneventful walk through steep zigzagging paths from Salanfe at 7,000ft to Martigny at 1,000ft. Perhaps the 'stand-out' memory from the day was an unusual demonstration of Swiss neutrality. While ambling along a track that sloped past a mountian village, Andy called out to me from behind, "Check out that dude in his garden with an air-rifle!" Spotting him, I replied "Yeah look- He's watching us through his 'scope." Barely had the words escaped my lips, when a shot rang out and a bullet thumped into the tree trunk between us. Not used to conflict situations, we followed the least advisable course of action. We stopped dead in our tracks, turned round, and hurled abuse. As he reloaded, we saw a potentially fatal flaw in our handling of the situation, and maintaining discipline under fire, whilest slow-marching out of air-rifle range, we sang 'Jerusalem' at the tops of our voices. It wasn't until afterwards that we realised that this must have been the first time in history that the Swiss had opened fire on the Red Cross.

We are now relaxing tired but unscathed in Martigny, collecting maps for our next three days at the end of which we hope to be in Italy.

Keep the emails, text messages, and most importantly donations coming. They are all much appreciated.

Paddy and Andy

14th July 2006

The view from the slate mines above Lake Montriond